3 things which really made my heart ache today

in chronological order:

1. the sight of my grandmother, balding from chemotherapy and all the other various kinds of cancer treatment. i did my research, and found out that there are many more side effects like pain, anemia, memory loss, apetitie change, nausea and vomitting, swelling and fluid retention etc. there's a whole long list on it, just reading it made me feel sick already. argh i wish i have the courage to tell her, in words, personally, that i love her. that i will give anything in this world to take her pain away, or even to endure for her all that she's going through. cliche, but honestly. honestly.
   
   
2. jovan fell from the playground and had to have his chin stitched up.
   really pained me, regardless of how irritating he can be on a regular fine sunny day.
   
   
3. MC. don't give up.

here's to those who need it:
everything will be fine in the end.
if things are not going good, it's simply not the end.
but, the end will come soon.

remember what i said about being optimistic? that it's just lying to ourselves?

i stand in the line just to hit a new low

i'm faking a smile with the coffee to go.

i just returned from training.
today, i sucked as hell on court, and i re-injured my ankle.

i'm getting tired of being optimistic.
honestly, i'm just lying to myself week after week.
"my performance will get better"
"i'll get my runs back! the drives!"
"well no biggie i'll just have to work harder on my passes"
things like that?
self-delusion. i can't find a better term.

my play is not improving. as a matter of fact it's going so downhill, i feel that i'm just wasting everyone's time and efforts.
i miss how it was on court so much.
to be in control.

time is slipping out of my hands.
NL's in like, a freaking month away.
and i want to play for seven.
well actually i dont just want to play for seven,
i want to play well for seven.

to all of you, especially those who were here today, i dont think you'll ever see this but,
i'm sorry. charis, della, funny, jasmine, mel, salim, qiuying, the twins,
i'm sorry. dont think i even deserve to be sharing the same bib with you guys.
i dont know how to tell you, how sorry i really am.

for being so sucky.

no truer love

am currently touched. very.
my cute greatgrandmother called me on my handphone just a moment ago to ask about my ankle/health/well-being.

when it should have been the other way round.

untimely raw

friday, 3 april 2009
friday, 21 march 2008

the same thing happened almost exactly one year ago.
yet this time round, the person who had picked me up from my fall and carried me through it all, isn't right here with me anymore.

it's just one difference, but it's one difference so huge it's changing everything.

look at the earth from outer space

tell me your own politik.

trish and i have a brilliant, yet-to-be executed plan.
shh.

today i did my napfa 2.4km and it was horrid. honestly, couldn't be worst.
if i were to tell my timing to coach i confirm get burnt :( :( :(

neeway, i've been thinking. what am i really good at?
objectively, to put it across in a really blunt way, nothing at all.
the first thing that comes to mind when i think about tanya is, oh, her ballet.
for joong, its his drum and his diligence level. cleo, her flair for languages. T? his charisma, his art, the way he does everything (but academic related stuff) to perfection.
me? haha i can't do anything right.
albeit having no regrets, the only thing i thought i did best in my whole life turned out to be the greatest mistake.

sometimes i would like to cease to exist.

access private text

nothing wrong, nothing right.

you didn't have to walk me to the door.

overslept this morning so i didn't go to woodlands reg lib for the contest presentation ceremony. not that we actually won anything. turned out only jiarui went, oops.

spent the whole afternoon sitting in bed, daydreaming, deep-thinking. very quality me-time.
however my maid thought i was sick and meditating or something!
we always want to be one step ahead of everyone else.
so much that we move too fast into the city lights and leave our souls behind.

NSL was as usual :)
just that i kept being made fun of grr!
one fine day i will gai4/reject your ball! :)
susan is ultra-mega gay, btw.

had supper at yew tee macs with jeremy.
the ice-cream machine just had to break down so i settled for a fillet-o-fish instead of mudpie mcflurry.

a decision that's never going to be made, about a love that's never going to change.

access private text

haha the moment i've been staying up for has come.
at 12AM exact,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOIS CONSIDERATE PUNCTUALITY ONG SHI YUN!
you're older than me, but shorter! i love you so much for that, among other things :)

xoxo

p.s. said hi to miss chen tdy

i spun around to see you looking straight back at me

i'm such a procrastinator.
i delay needlessly about almost everything, from going for my runs, to getting my homework done, sometimes i even eat dinner at eleven.
sigh what am i supposed to do about this? you know what, i'll think about it tomorrow.

in the meantime, here's a quickie on yesterday.

went for club training in the evening! before that got thrashed in horse. played crocodile.
for warm-up we played the ball-tag game haha it was very fun totally livened the atmosphere!
ended off with game as usual, 7 on 7 full court since there were, just nice, that many (or rather, few) of us.
am rly glad i went for it cos that trg was much more productive! :)
ANYW THE EXCITING PART IS AFTER TRG
i had to pass trish's gift to MC
but i didnt dare to!
when i finally did muster my courage to run over to her, they were so encouraging hahaha
they were like making hell lot of noise asking me to remove my speed top/go in my sports bra/whatever etc cos
ahem
a bit embarrassing to the club lor
i dont think you get it but whatever hahaha

today: congrats c'div for your win :)
i couldn't make it in time for their game cos i thought it was at four when it was at three.
after i left school i went to my mom's shop and did funny funny things
met T for a while.
then i went to the warrens to return melan some money.

access private text

been experiencing many gay moments with trish.
-grabs hand and runs-

cos we've come too far to let it slipaway

beep beep

or porrp porrrp ?! so confusing

__________________________________________________________

EDITED @ 8.31PM

saving me - nickelback
have absolutely no idea why, but this brings tears to my eyes. i'm ripped raw. why do i have this feeling that i can relate to seeing someone's life tick by?

__________________________________________________________


and i'm still not talking to you.

anyway i was out with joanmak from twelve till six this afternoon!

• vivo (where there were like a billion RVians)
• plaza sing (by accident)
• wisma

i didnt get anything else 'xcept for a pwetty casual dress. spent like almost all that i had on food. dont know why but i felt like binging so i ate something after another and another and another
joan was pretty much amazed/amused? cant make up my mind.
more! more! let's go out more! :) :) :)
i wont be dressed like a beach girl next time grr

and about the beach girl thing, i was supposed to go to sentosa with susan della and funny after meeting up with joan but then it was cancelled! so i went around clad in my nike and fbts. and smiley flip flops. and a tote.
so inept.

sigh. how can a happy kid admit to being miserable? tonight i pray that you'll be good all your years. my greatest source of comfort will be the thought that you're safe, well and very happy. geez all the emo emotives are cluttering my mind so much that i forgot i have pictures.

here they are.

practice makes perfect

practice makes perfect sense to me.

first of all, i would like to wish MISS CHEN HUI FEN a
wonderful awesome good marvelous nice pleasing recherché splendid sterling stupendous super-excellent rad congenial unimpaired beautiful nice great awe-inspiring magnificent mind-blowing stunning terrific wondrous cool cute glorious superlative ferntastic perfect primo sensational superb HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :) :) :) :) :)

i think its forgivable and perhaps completely acceptable to say (or type) cheesy mushy things on someone's special day so i shall.
dear MC, school's never been the same since you left us (as in physically. you've always been in our hearts since then). my happiest RV schooling days consist of the times when you were around. really.
now that i/we can no longer hope to bump into you along the turning of the stairway, or stalk you from the canteen to the staff room, or like offer to buy you drinks (like during IUD!), well life's not as exciting and satisfying as before.
it's impossible to lead a life in the dark after having been so close to the sun once. get it?
also, hahaha i like to go for my club trg (the thurs ones at KNC) cos.. i get to see you!
i'm so hyped up for NSL matches, it's like we get to see you every week. so totally awesome luh.
.
.
.
if you realise this long somewhat-confession is akin to social suicide,
but for you i will !! :)

HAHAHAHA.
that was really gay.

.
.
.
what did i do on 11 march 2009?
go to school, get GPA, feel numb,

and meet tricia at three-ish pm!

so i went to her house and left my stuff thr/changed and we went running at telok blangah hill/mt faber! it's not really what you think but whatever.
the two hours passed in a whizz.
we explored little parks, places we never knew existed and stuff. it's quite beautiful, rather breathtaking up there. its refreshing to wander around in nature (even if man-made) for a change, don't you ever get sick of all the city lights?
there are binoculars at parts of the peak, and to view each of them for 180 seconds you're supposed to pay a dollar.
i'm beginning to believe in luck! somehow we managed to find this pair of binos that was working! we didnt have to give up our only dollar (and ten cents) but we still had full five mins views of a construction site, the carribean, some boats, and three islands so far away.
the binos are so awesome can see so far grrrrrrrr, it was so clear and even from where we were we could see labourers at the construction site and people in their condos hahaha.
we also sat in stationary cable cars :)

reached home half past seven, and up till now i'm still thinking of how to break the news to the parental department about my implausibly lousy results.

it only takes a spark to get a fire going

things are really really really going downhill from now, but i'll keep going on because averil soh gave me a post-it which said "i want you to smile more b/c today is 'i want you to be happy day!'" :)
T, i want you to know that the simplest things count. it's not all about you now.
and momocleotineo, you're the most deserving bestfriend ever.

things can only get better from here.

"she who loves forever, lives forever."

sometimes, like now, when i try very hard to sleep but can't, my mind subconsciously wanders off to think of you.

just because i didn't publicly emo over you last september, it doesn't mean i've forgotten about you my dear. sometimes i wish you would just let me off.

isn't it enough knowing that i'll love you forever and ever?
you know how i'll always tuck you in the depths of my heart and keep you safe even when heaven and earth collides.

it is hard enough for me, now that i'm facing the world alone without your accompaniment, without your powerful cheery presence.
it's been two years coming three, it still hurts the same, wherever, whenever.
i haven't visited you in a long time, but neither have you come to see me.
please, appear in my dreams tonight?

tomorrow i will see your parental department. tomorrow, they will see me teary-eyed.
tomorrow, you will still be peeping at me from the stars in the sky.
tomorrow is the day i wish will never come because tomorrow you will still not be here.

when the shadows descend on the moonlit house
the sun and the moon overlap
incessant grief that lingers forever
why? doeth unto me things i remember
how? transcends into my soul footsteps that sound always
when? imprinted love will i stop hurting
at long last, the sky is dark again
it is a vicious cycle
of love, lost, despair
and longing for the return of my dearest bestfriend.

in loving memory of grace adeline reed.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me, either."

- Edward Cullen, Twilight

i am supposed to be in church right now, instead of blogging at home on my bed. i'll get down to explaining this later.

for now i'm just gonna have to exclaim that ...
YESTERDAY'S DATE WITH JOAN WAS MIGHTY MORPHINE AWESOME! :D :D :D
12nn to 12am, dont think my saturday could have been spent any better!

we caught twilight at plaza, and we both think that it was okay what! the critics were too harsh with that 1.5/5 rating! okay maybe it'd have been a bit nonsensical and lame for those who didnt read twilight (and if you are one of them, boy you've missed out on so much goodness) but i mean, like, robert pattinson is so fking hot in that exotic way! and joan thinks carlisle (i forgot the actor's name) is the cutest guy on screen.
the only drawback's that half the time the two main leads were staring at each other in a very weird hostile and wary manner.
but still :)

after that was thrift-shopping at plaza and wisma!
for fifteen dollars she got a pair of flats (cotton on)
i bought gladiators which i will prolly modify cos they're now so common (cotton on), a chain necklace (F21), a dress from i dont know whr. for just fifty one dollars.
such steaaaals! :D

at abt 6.30pm we met up with her family and jeremy (not the tng one) and we went for steamboat dinner. which reminds me, i've ate two consecutive dinners with my friend's families! the day before ytd, i had peranakan dishes with kristal's.
okayi so after that was bowling till late :)

JOANMAKKAI-LIN IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I LIKE GOING OUT WITH YOU!
i hate your 5 blue marble story, though. and i bet V agrees

oh anyw, i'm not in church tdy cos both my brothers are sick! please self link

more pics from rvnb xmas party :)













and with my bro/ do you do you do you do you know he's quite a camwhore!






my hair is still killing me.

it was right at my fingertips

but for the xth time, i let it slip away

someone once told me (or rather i read from somewhr) that she hates the fact that i think/infer too much. but i feel that things arent as simple as they seem at times.

so now while i'm blogging here in the comfort of my own home, the team should be slogging it out on court.
i'm gna gym and run ltr on to feel less guilty. and maybe head over to KNC to train with the snrs

today, i woke up at 6.15AM to eat breakfast. i usually dont.

i clipped up my hair.

i brought a towel.

i took 97e instead of 97 at the bus berth for fear of being late for training.

yet i never did get to do courtwork, because i was sent home by ms loo for not wearing the school skirt :(

i dont deserve this. not an inch of me deserves it.
i'm not working hard enough.
i'm not committed enough.
i'm not driven enough.
i dont give enough a damn.
i'm not responsible enough.
i'm not disciplined enough. not enough to even find myself another fking skirt.
once, twice, now three times.
boy have i learnt my lesson.

you told me, "you're capable of much more than what you're doing now, but are you willing to work for it? if you put in 100% in all your trainings, i can assure that you'll get into b'div."

but i guess it isnt just abt getting into the team and playing for the sch and winning and having recognition.
thr's so much more to being a true netballer.
it isnt just abt being in a club and matching up with all the better players around.
thr's more to this, thr has to be.
it's not just flinging balls across the court, its not just sprinting and jumping and dodging and rolling and lunging and clearing and changing of direction and killing of braincells etc
i know thr is a whole new level i have yet to reach nor experience.

its one thing to go all out using your physique,
and another to go all out using your heart.

RV netballer? nah, what netballer..

i need my identity back.

though it was built to last

my whole world has just crumbled because i've lost my favourite church camp footprint tee.

__________________________________________

EDITED AT 9.04PM

this post is gna be very anal.

i hereby announce that i will be anal to everyone and anyone till i find that very tee.
if you wna save the world you can help me find it.
nah just joking.

speaking of being anal, was talking to joan during worship last sunday (instead of focusing on the sermon preached). i am sorry was very distracted that day lord forgive me. i promise that i'll pay full attention next week, i'll even take down notes and post them up so as to spread the gospel :)
whr was i?
yes. anal.
she told me abt this totally anal schoolmate (or was it classmate ar whtvr).
that schoolmate (or was it classmate ar whtvr) had a very sweeeet boyfriend who is (according to joanie) apparently quite cute. but she was very x 10000000000 mean to him!
oh joan gave me a few scenarios and i was like wth-ing all the way.
if my boyfriend was sweeet/cute/hot i wouldnt be anal to him.
as a matter of fact i wouldn be hell anal to anyone at all.
not even to you

on a random note, combi allocation is out and yay i successfully appealed into ChemBioLit along with around 30 other happy people!
roughly know who i will be stuck with in yr3 and i think the class dynamics is quite interesting! :D heeeeees
i do hope i wont get a female chinese form teacher because they are supposedly anal abt even the most trivial stuff.
hello i have first hand experience myself.
but come to think of it, she had our interests at heart. tsk

after the match against PLMGS at CCAB (btw you guys played fantastic !!!), we went to eat at island creamery.
"but eating is such a joy!" - ethel huang hui fen.
yes awesome awesome awesome comfort foood :D
mudpie + teh tarik + soursop
i envy rich kids like yeyun who bought a tub home.
speaking of icecream, someone (you know who you are hahaha) owes me a tub of ben&jerrys.
and someone else (you know who you are too, hi hahha) owes me like nineteen scoops
and no cynthia choo, you do not look like a rooster

that's all, folks.
pictures another time

as we go on, we remember

all the times we had together.

________________________________________

yesterday 6 nov 2008 :

ytd was RV's annual learning symposium and i (along with joshua, shirley, yuxian, suzanne, claire, wenting and abigail) skipped all the boring lectures/workshops to tend 2B's game stall.
can say that we did pretty well because we came in fourth in the competition :D
am just so glad that the last big project we got to do as a class was such a success!
oh and we all (2B) pencils had our arms/faces/hair painted it was all very very hip.
indescribable gaiety and life in the hall.
2A's game was quite funny. very entertaining.
well, almost everything that has got to do with blindfolds are.
2H's game was rlyyyyyyyyy cute hahaha yeyun kristal trik and i played doubles.
not tennis luh, just in case you were wondering.

then trik and i went to ikea/anchorpoint to look for gifts. class farewell presents that sorta stuff
ended up spending nearly all our assets on sausage buns, icecream, chicken wings, bread, eggs and tea.
hahah i was close to getting something but they didnt have it in a quantity of thirrty sooooo.. sigh. sorry guys

rushed for speed7 training thereafter and was late by five mins. thank goodness they werent about to start yet!
got our team tees alr :D
yellow and red dri-fit tees. quite nifty
couldnt focus entirely and i only have chan yu xian to blame.
she messaged me right before my training started, when i was on the way, asking me to contribute an ending statement to the class montage.
so i had to think. a lot. reminisce. walk down memory lane.
all you (2B) pencils were still weighing on my mind throughout my whole traininggggg
i performed okay for it though.
buck up x 100000000000000000000000
i can do it :D

________________________________________

today:

was very sad.
the above fragment is an understatement

when the montage was played on the screen in class, wenting and ali broke down.
the others followed suit subsequently.
it was a downer situation.
i was trying damn hard to contain all that melancholy and dofuleness.
i hurried downstairs to whr all the netballers were, hoping that the tears wouldnt fall but i couldnt help it. so i ran back up to whr the rest of 2B were hiding/crying and i sequentially hugged every single one of them (mostly girls) left in what would soon be our ex-territory.
missed part of ms loo's celebration cos i couldnt bear to go down.
missed more of the celebration cos TM claire and i went to the hall to listen to live RFIY.
i didnt even cry so much when my P6 class was parting.
sigh but i found solace upon reminding myself (constantly) that our class chalet is just tmr :)

after weights training, munched and talked a bit with the netballers before going off to join the class at JP lib.
walao TM claire and jerome (whom i thought were absolutely nice cos they went to fetch me) totally played a prank on me hahaha.
read.
truth-or-truthed.
laughed.
trained home.

a list of 10 reasons as to why i will miss 2B so fking much

1. we have awesome class chairpersons (and congrats to shirley for winning best chairperson award :D). they're so good we are always spoon-fed/have nothing class-related to worry about
2. no one (not at all) is ostracized here in this class.
   
3. WEST MALAYSIA TRIP !!!
   
4. thr's rarely a dull moment. someone's always being silly/retarded/cute/stupid
5. you guys are super duper pooper encouraging, motivating, caring, supportive and everything nice
6. we had cool teachers like ms chew
7. PE is always fun (cos of you guys, even running is)
   
8. we are quite a qwerty, unrestrained bunch :)
9. bonded. though the guys and girls still sit at separated tables most of the times hahaha
10. last but not least, i will miss 2B so fking much because i had an awesome x 100000000000000000000 tablemate.

we started off as a class of thirty two, then thirty one. after two years of insane fun, constant teasing (even bullying), and rough, sad moments, we are right now just one.
toast up to the coolest class.
2B, together forever, truly.

i love you guys very much.

when will the rosies grow again the rivers flow again

not till you come back to me.

_______________________________________________

UPDATE @ 11.39PM
going out with joong totally perked me up :D


he's sick. likes to take close-up pics


they ran out of chicago cheesecake! but mudpie was good too.
and the way to my heart is through my mouth

thanks for the treat, and for making tdy worthwhile :)

_______________________________________________

so i'm feeling quite emotional right now. not the emoistic lock-myself-in-a-room-and-cut-wrist kind, but the reminiscing/a-walk-done-memory-lane kind.

was randomly bloghopping from a churchmate's blog and i chanced upon an awfully sad blog.
i dont know if i shd post the link here because i dont think she needs anymore publicity, but i'll just share her side of the story.

she's 22 this year, and her boyf/partner (an NSman) passed away quite recently.
in her little web space she posted about the days she wished he was still around,
"to hug the bad feelings away";
so they could catch the newly released movie tgt;
to listen to her insane rants abt whtvr nots;
so she could dissolve into his arms and feel that kiss on the crown of her head;
so they could spend the rainy days reading, snuggling up against each other.
the saddest post of all was the birthday one (i read almost all her archives btw), whr she reccounted that went to the columnbariam equipped with a chocolate cake, a card, her love and her pressence, to celebrate the day god delivered him to earth.
i hope i will never have to experience anything like this for i can alr feel her pain, infinite and boundless like impending thorns growing in her heart, ridding her of all mortal love she once felt, just by reading all those words.
it's more than hard to live when that one special person is gone forever.

like you can cry every night, you can cry till every part of your body hurts, you can cry till your heart literally aches, you can cry till the lights in all the apartments around yours get turned off, you can cry till dawn breaks,
but nothing will change.

so move on.

because,
"every night i miss you i can just look up
and know the stars are holding you,
holding you,
holding you tonight."

- FM Static's Tonight

remember to cherish. always

running in circles, coming up tails

heads on a science apart.

god, i love coldplay. so alternative

tdy was simply horrid. thank goodness for all the texted/IMed/phoned words of concern, brightened up my day quite a bit :)

first, i had fever in the morning and the parental unit berated me for falling ill. so i cried first thing in the morning. and the downcast mood seemingly draped itself on me like a piece of wet cloth from then

second, was typing information wholesale from trik's bio notes cos i ran out of paper and thus couldnt photocopy at home. my freaking computer hanged on me like a thousand times so i had to keep retyping. i got so damn fed up i threw the mouse on the floor and it fking died on me.
so i had to put a paper bag over my head and borrow my neighbour's mouse.
goodness gracious me.

third, my bro brought two of his unruly classmates home. and they were so rowdy they actually broke:

1. my cup
2. my glass bottle filled with stars

the whole world is against me tdy.

fourth, had made a plan with my most trustest aunt tdy. i was gna runaway from home. so i met her at dhoby ghaut. and we sat at a super crowded MOS for i think an hour with nothing but a cup of drink while everyone else just looked at us impatiently. after she talked (sense) into me for such a lonngggg time i had no choice but to go home. she notified my dad anyw.
离家出走 plan failed horribly terribly vegetably.

fifth, hangover.

hopefully tmr will be a beautiful day.

xoxo

i'm a big big girl in a big big world

its not a big big thing if you leave me. or if i leave you

i wont even fking care if you disappear from the face of earth. never again will i have anything to do with you. let's draw the line, for real this time.

______________________________________

so my daddy should be in taiwan now. didnt go to church cos of some family issues tdy morning. my mom, bro and i ended up at causeway point whr we spent four hundred dollars.

my new pencil case. no joke

retail therapy came too early.

but perhaps, thr is a btr alternative. one which numbs totally

i choose to have no air.

not everyone's as lucky

i dont believe in luck anyw.



Jason Mraz - Lucky
Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

i lost my footing and stumbled into your arms instead

sanctuary.

watched olympics basketball USA vs china last night/tdy morning. finally got to see kobe bryant and (king) james lebron etc and yaoming (where's jackie chan and his visa card)!
dozed off during the 3rd quarter so didnt view the women's game which was at 3AM :(

met up with ian yeo'sup at 10.45AM in the morning then we went to queensway! hahaha i've bought my shoebag alr. walked (pratically) all three storeys before deciding on one.
ate (at anchorpoint) and bused to parc oasis (condo/his place) thereafter. explored his house quite a bit.
when his friends came we went down to play street bball :D
was awed by his freaking accurate far shots but i was not too bad myself i only got gai4/rejected once. not bad ar hahahah my ass luh was really noob k
left at about 4.30PM, decided against meeting xurong and gang (sorry yeh)!

i'm in need of a good book/a good movie! or a good album, whichever

anyw,
MOMO CALLED ME JUST NOW!
yes all the way from UK hahhaha it was an expensive four-minutes call !!!
stupid woman i know you can read this. imma forget you if you dont come back soon alright
she told me she painted the sg flag on her face and walked down Farringdon Rd. then she found some other singaporeans (were wearing sg colours and were speaking with 'lah' and 'lor's and) so they very randomly shook hands made friends and gathered at a bend singing NDP songs.

okay lets all mourn for the loss of my PSP. the dust in my room will miss (coating) it terribly horribly vegetably. srsly, its been lightyears since i last touched it and now that i've got this insane urge to play NBA, its MIA
i thought my mom would prolly scold me and swear never ever to get me another gadget again (like she did to my bro 6 months ago, a week before getting him his DS). but she didnt!
she just shrugged and smiled her cruel smile. after huddling tgt with my bros, we concluded that she stole my dearet PSP to make me shuddup (instead of convincing her to buy me another memory card).
bottomline - no more PSP :(

so um, yeh its confirmed that my grandmother has cancer so i'd very much appreciate if you could all pray for her.

when life gives you lemon, you really have gotta make lemonades.
xoxo