as we go on, we remember

all the times we had together.

________________________________________

yesterday 6 nov 2008 :

ytd was RV's annual learning symposium and i (along with joshua, shirley, yuxian, suzanne, claire, wenting and abigail) skipped all the boring lectures/workshops to tend 2B's game stall.
can say that we did pretty well because we came in fourth in the competition :D
am just so glad that the last big project we got to do as a class was such a success!
oh and we all (2B) pencils had our arms/faces/hair painted it was all very very hip.
indescribable gaiety and life in the hall.
2A's game was quite funny. very entertaining.
well, almost everything that has got to do with blindfolds are.
2H's game was rlyyyyyyyyy cute hahaha yeyun kristal trik and i played doubles.
not tennis luh, just in case you were wondering.

then trik and i went to ikea/anchorpoint to look for gifts. class farewell presents that sorta stuff
ended up spending nearly all our assets on sausage buns, icecream, chicken wings, bread, eggs and tea.
hahah i was close to getting something but they didnt have it in a quantity of thirrty sooooo.. sigh. sorry guys

rushed for speed7 training thereafter and was late by five mins. thank goodness they werent about to start yet!
got our team tees alr :D
yellow and red dri-fit tees. quite nifty
couldnt focus entirely and i only have chan yu xian to blame.
she messaged me right before my training started, when i was on the way, asking me to contribute an ending statement to the class montage.
so i had to think. a lot. reminisce. walk down memory lane.
all you (2B) pencils were still weighing on my mind throughout my whole traininggggg
i performed okay for it though.
buck up x 100000000000000000000000
i can do it :D

________________________________________

today:

was very sad.
the above fragment is an understatement

when the montage was played on the screen in class, wenting and ali broke down.
the others followed suit subsequently.
it was a downer situation.
i was trying damn hard to contain all that melancholy and dofuleness.
i hurried downstairs to whr all the netballers were, hoping that the tears wouldnt fall but i couldnt help it. so i ran back up to whr the rest of 2B were hiding/crying and i sequentially hugged every single one of them (mostly girls) left in what would soon be our ex-territory.
missed part of ms loo's celebration cos i couldnt bear to go down.
missed more of the celebration cos TM claire and i went to the hall to listen to live RFIY.
i didnt even cry so much when my P6 class was parting.
sigh but i found solace upon reminding myself (constantly) that our class chalet is just tmr :)

after weights training, munched and talked a bit with the netballers before going off to join the class at JP lib.
walao TM claire and jerome (whom i thought were absolutely nice cos they went to fetch me) totally played a prank on me hahaha.
read.
truth-or-truthed.
laughed.
trained home.

a list of 10 reasons as to why i will miss 2B so fking much

1. we have awesome class chairpersons (and congrats to shirley for winning best chairperson award :D). they're so good we are always spoon-fed/have nothing class-related to worry about
2. no one (not at all) is ostracized here in this class.
   
3. WEST MALAYSIA TRIP !!!
   
4. thr's rarely a dull moment. someone's always being silly/retarded/cute/stupid
5. you guys are super duper pooper encouraging, motivating, caring, supportive and everything nice
6. we had cool teachers like ms chew
7. PE is always fun (cos of you guys, even running is)
   
8. we are quite a qwerty, unrestrained bunch :)
9. bonded. though the guys and girls still sit at separated tables most of the times hahaha
10. last but not least, i will miss 2B so fking much because i had an awesome x 100000000000000000000 tablemate.

we started off as a class of thirty two, then thirty one. after two years of insane fun, constant teasing (even bullying), and rough, sad moments, we are right now just one.
toast up to the coolest class.
2B, together forever, truly.

i love you guys very much.

when will the rosies grow again the rivers flow again

not till you come back to me.

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UPDATE @ 11.39PM
going out with joong totally perked me up :D


he's sick. likes to take close-up pics


they ran out of chicago cheesecake! but mudpie was good too.
and the way to my heart is through my mouth

thanks for the treat, and for making tdy worthwhile :)

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so i'm feeling quite emotional right now. not the emoistic lock-myself-in-a-room-and-cut-wrist kind, but the reminiscing/a-walk-done-memory-lane kind.

was randomly bloghopping from a churchmate's blog and i chanced upon an awfully sad blog.
i dont know if i shd post the link here because i dont think she needs anymore publicity, but i'll just share her side of the story.

she's 22 this year, and her boyf/partner (an NSman) passed away quite recently.
in her little web space she posted about the days she wished he was still around,
"to hug the bad feelings away";
so they could catch the newly released movie tgt;
to listen to her insane rants abt whtvr nots;
so she could dissolve into his arms and feel that kiss on the crown of her head;
so they could spend the rainy days reading, snuggling up against each other.
the saddest post of all was the birthday one (i read almost all her archives btw), whr she reccounted that went to the columnbariam equipped with a chocolate cake, a card, her love and her pressence, to celebrate the day god delivered him to earth.
i hope i will never have to experience anything like this for i can alr feel her pain, infinite and boundless like impending thorns growing in her heart, ridding her of all mortal love she once felt, just by reading all those words.
it's more than hard to live when that one special person is gone forever.

like you can cry every night, you can cry till every part of your body hurts, you can cry till your heart literally aches, you can cry till the lights in all the apartments around yours get turned off, you can cry till dawn breaks,
but nothing will change.

so move on.

because,
"every night i miss you i can just look up
and know the stars are holding you,
holding you,
holding you tonight."

- FM Static's Tonight

remember to cherish. always

i'm a big big girl in a big big world

its not a big big thing if you leave me. or if i leave you

i wont even fking care if you disappear from the face of earth. never again will i have anything to do with you. let's draw the line, for real this time.

______________________________________

so my daddy should be in taiwan now. didnt go to church cos of some family issues tdy morning. my mom, bro and i ended up at causeway point whr we spent four hundred dollars.

my new pencil case. no joke

retail therapy came too early.

but perhaps, thr is a btr alternative. one which numbs totally

i choose to have no air.

of all the second chances i got so far

just how many did i rly make use of?

just bad.

1. malfuctioned/lagging (new) phone keypad
2. freaking bad play for tdy's friendly
3. (my very own) walkathon from CCAB to (almost) bukit timah shopping centre
4. bad headache
5. negative-value ezlink card and absolutely zero cash
6. lactic acid eating me whole
7. anti-social mood.
8. spoilt USB cable (so cant upload class picture = blog abt class outng another time)

and thr's speed seven traing ltr on. guess i'd have to redeem myself/prove myself (to... myself) or i'd die from wallowing in self pity/drowning in emo-ness
_________________________________________

tuesday was sorta insane/the day i unintentionally cleared out my ezlink card :O

yew tee -> henry park pri sch -> KAP mac -> yishun -> junction 8 -> vivo -> RVHS -> 5nations @ tpsh -> yew tee.

in desperate need of a chauffer.
my pay's priceless, literally: plenty of good karma.
_________________________________________

and, if you're one of the eight who messaged me, um try to get hold of me by my house phone or msn or if you'd like to try, by telepathy (dont think my antenna's working though)

will most prolly be uncontactable(?) at my 9227 number for 3 - 5 working days :(

no xoxo

when the music fades and all is stripped away

G i stand at the edge waiting to fall.

tsk msn is lag shitzxc walaoeh.

ENL got postponed cos of the heavy rain and so nothing (much) really happened this afternoon.
lagged a bit and crazed over we all know who a little bit too.
well at first mrs khoo (whom i think knows that we absolutely adore mc/nats players) came over to pass us a stack of posters and postcards. we became like danggg euphoric !!!
but then we found out that mc was only on three out of all twelve posters so we started fighting for them silly women
rae and i (being the more intelligent homo sapiens) walked out of the hurly-burly (money uninvolved) auction (for the mc posters) and got five mc posters from the KNC office.
they all look at us in a different light now

i walked home from choa chu kang/lot 1 and it was the longest (and most emo) walk ever (cos i was strolling freaking slowly).
the sky was literally darkening with every step i took.
and it was like going down memory lane.

oh and ENL players jiaaayouuuuu :D

evincing my feelings

whistle for the choir

i am feeling very sorry for myself now. my life seems pathetically screwed at the moment. turned out, i could not wake up at three in the morning today (actually no surprise but still) and thus had only a teeny weeny bit of time to study. and that was before assembly when everyth (from the clouds to nicole's pocky sticks) distracts me! not to mention that i wasnt in the mood for any kind of last minute mugging. i rarely am, i suppose.
so congratulations and celebrations to me stone-head, i am almost sure i will get a zero for that pui-ing maths test. and it should be the first in my life. i dont know if i should laugh or cry. well it seemed as though this hardly affected me in the day but its hitting me reallyyy hard now. like, oh no dang die. shit. and then there's this load of assignment of which pile is as thick as (the brain juices in) my head (which is absolutely the thickest ever). i cant breathe. i am hyperventilating. okay no i am not, but i think i sometimes do hyperventilate when i sleeep (naturally). back to the point about homework. well i actually resolved, right after that creep of a maths test, to mug incentively hard and all. just when i feel the rush and motivation the stinking work has to comeeee right smack into my face. so much at one go i dont feel the urge to be a good student anymore. its alright if you dont get what i mean, because (i know i know) i am losing my flow of writing, all my substantial points, all the literarature words and all the pargons - and that is another reason why i am so annoyed with myself. then, i am feeling so small and pitiful as neither the school library nor the jurong east library (which supposedly has an avalanche of books) has any of jodi picoult's books which are not on loan, in transition, or lost. i now have to borrow the book from ms. greedy tricia kok. and she claims i have to lend her something in return, thats how life works. i will be a mighty friend and lend her a cookie. and she will have to return it to me only after i have finished reading her book. no you read correctly, one cookie fullstop sigh the jamster's gig is coming up and i cant take the pressure. please pray for me. i am thankful for some people still remember my birthday. smiles to myself. i have come to terms with it and i will not be expecting much from my schoolmates because i think i have been keeping to myself a whole lot these days so much that no one seems to remember me. i am just happy i have three five minute present-collection dates from my churchies and jamsters have been repeating and repeating and repeating the countdowns to my birthday. and of cos, (i hope) i have my darling. i feel like a pessimistic ass now. i am no longer looking forward to my birthday. nor any other day. oh dang do i sound suicidal, i think i do.
i am amused by how emo i sound. and how long this unparagraphed paragraph is.
p.s. this is not pms. i just miss tomtom a lot (haha). and i want to read something stephenie meyer. i wonder when my ankle will fully recover. a childhood should not be wasted on doing stupid assignments and CID projects. what a waste manzxc, what a waste.
i know i will feel all smiley again tmr. life's like this - constantly in motion. so much that i sometimes find it hard to catch up with myself. stay in touch, yo.
ciao.