i'm a big big girl in a big big world

its not a big big thing if you leave me. or if i leave you

i wont even fking care if you disappear from the face of earth. never again will i have anything to do with you. let's draw the line, for real this time.

______________________________________

so my daddy should be in taiwan now. didnt go to church cos of some family issues tdy morning. my mom, bro and i ended up at causeway point whr we spent four hundred dollars.

my new pencil case. no joke

retail therapy came too early.

but perhaps, thr is a btr alternative. one which numbs totally

i choose to have no air.

its like learning to fly, or falling in love

its gna happen when its supposed to happened that we find the reasons why,
one step at a time.

okayi so i went to sch with rafflesia ong tse yin tdy morning. we were kind of idiotic. like srsly.
um we met at jurong east mrt station's control panel. then we walked to 97 berth at the interchange to like, catch the bus. after walking all the way thr, we saw that thr was freaking lot of people, so we turned back and took the train to commonwealth instead.
ahya doesnt sound that nincompoop-ish here but i'd swear (if i was the kind who did) it seemed so stupid/funny then.

dont know how i will survive my last term of year two sitting with someone like that goldfish/cat/flower/what else ar? hahaha.

players' review was not as scary as i thought it would have been, even though sitting directly opposite ms loo one-on-one was a tad intimidating

anyw i thought training was awesome tdy :D
partly cos we started with the MC warm-up ---> ball-tagging game.
GO RVNB !!!
oh and hhaha, we ended with like a "happy coaches' day to you" songggggg for ms loo. almost got a ride home from her!
p.s. do note that i was the one who rejected her generously kind offer
p.p.s my dear yeyun, if you are reading this please dont be mad.

momo called from UK just a while ago. she was crying rly hard, scared the living hell outta me i thought her cat died or someth
i could only make out (the words between her uncontrollable sobs) that she was gna have to breakup with her blue-eyed boyfriend because she is coming back to singapore. and she cant bear to do so.
and she knows long-distance relationships will never work out for her.
or someth along this line. then i realised how silly i am, to have an option and still choose to "leave" that one person i cant live without.
HSK tmr. sucks.

xoxo

keep your faith

cos it pays to do so.

ITS HOLIDAYS.

church-ed, saw someone i havent seen in a reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy long time :)
this is horrid, i think i have a crush.
then went for fisher and paykel cup's opening ceremony + singapore vs sri lanka match (which score was i think 43-46, sadly).
was so elated/ecstatic/euphoric/overjoyed/exuberant/on cloud nine/in seventh heaven when i fernally saw MC after forty-five long and ardous days.
kristal, lois and hueychyi can bear witness to my sudden jubilance! :D

missed the second match to have dinner and walk around.
bought eva her belated present! its awfully cute i think she'll love it (and love us) luh
how can i not care for you? how can i not miss you/think of you?
xoxo

mundane

, life is. i am not (at all) driven nor motivated to do things of any sort. whether it is my now-overdue maths assignment 7 or my lit essay two (urgh how can this be happening).

and i am one peeved youtube user because i cant seem to view any MVs there, tsk. yes i totally agree with fish that jesse mccartney has lost his boyish look/charm along with his fringe and pretty hair. and that's sorta sad.

my ____ and my muscles are starting to hurt/ache. must be the insane run(s) today and the accumulated previous distances.

On Bended Knees
Can we go back to the days
Our love was strong
Can you tell me how
A perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me
How to get things back,
The way they used to be
Oh God, give me a reason,
I'm down on bended knees.

I'll never walk again,
Until you come back to me,
I'm down on bended knees.

So many nights I dream of you
Holding my pillow tight I know
That I don't need to be alone
When I open up my eyes
To face reality
Every moment without you
It seems like eternity.
I'm begging you, begging you come back to me.

the feeling's still not fading,

give me something to believe in, tell me its all in my head

i can live without you but, without you i'll be miserable at best.
i cant live without you.

cos nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away.
nothing feels like home even when you're just a few feet away, in reach, yet, out of my league.

never thought not having you here now would hurt so bad.
never even thought i'd have you in the first place.

maybe the grass is greener at the other side, over in UK.
what i thought would have me all against is getting realistically more tempting. sometimes (like now) i wish i could just leave everything (but some) behind and go somewhere else. like, i just want to run away. no, flyaway. literally sprout wings and flap about in the air, or an airplane, anything.
will one year bring about a decent transformation?
what can i achieve in that short period of my life?
when i do leave, will anything even change?
when i return (if i do), will anything still be the same?
is there anything, or anyone who will hold me back?
is there anything, or anyone worth staying for?
i'll make my decision once i get all the answers i need, and i'll not look back again.

i never really knew how much you truly meant to me (not till now).
but, i just want to flyaway.
can i take you with me?

p.s. this is not touchy/emo, just genuine and heartfelt,
ciao.