looking for perfect, surrounded by artificial

you're the closest to real i've seen.

i'm blogging from daddy's phone so i've gotta make this real quick.

i've started watching The Most Beautiful Seventh Day slash 最美麗的第七天! its such a sweeeeet movie love it love it love it.
and kevin cheng is the boyf.














anyw i was out with kristal (and tseyin, for a while) since 1pm till about 7pm+.
went to lot 1 raffles city marina square suntec but i still havent found anyth for my gift exchange person (rvnb)!
spent a lot on food. typical fern shen kinda behaviour luh hahah



















































































anyw i'm now at my dad's friend's daughter's party and i dont rly know anyone here.
thr isnt much to do either, so we're going off in a while.

till then, xoxo

painful realisation that all has gone wrong

EDITED @ 9.07PM

have just finished reading picture perfect and goddamnit the tears are threatening to fall.
love. compassion. fear. hatred. remorse. guilt. passion. abuse.
will you leave the person you love the most, when staying on just brings you more hurt?
when there are multiple sides to that one person, will you wait and struggle through the tough times just for rare, short moments of having his/her true self be given selflessly to you?
you just dont know, that i love you so fking much it literally kills. but what can i do?
___________________________________________

a side stepping has come to be a brilliant dance.
.. and breathing is a foreign task,
and thinking's just too much to ask.
and you're measuring your minutes
by a clock that's blinking eights.

___________________________________________

["The moment they came together, Cassie understood why they belonged to each other. He filled her, and she took away his scars.
Cassie wrapped her arms around Alex's neck, surprised by the tears that leaked from the edges of her eyes. She turned her face to the open window, breathing in the sweet mix of herself and Alex and endless ocean.
She was drifting off to sleep when Alex's voice slipped over her.
"You dont have to get your memory back, Cass. I know who you are."
"Oh?" she said, smiling.
She drew Alex's arms around her. "Who am i?"
She felt Alex' peace curl against her like a benediction. He pulled her back against his front, into the place where she just fit.
"You're my other half," he said.]

[I tried to watch them but people miled between us, pumping my hand up and down and speaking platitudes that could have been a foreign language.
I lost my view of Alex in a sea of suntanned faces. I thought i might actually faint, although i'd never done that in my entirely life, and then out of nowhere Alex stood at my side once again and i realised i hadn'e been ill at all;
it was just that half of me had been missing.]

- Jodi Picoult, Picture Perfect
___________________________________________

tanya needed some hamster food.
so i gave her a set of instructions to get to my place. that was at 6.15pm.
it's been almost an hour and she's still not here yet.
hahaha apparently she got lost because she cant discern right from left.
i have really queer friends :)

anyw, came back not very long ago. was doing work with trik and kristal at west mall's subway.
well, at least i was. productive :D
though i think i took in more food than facts.
then we went to popular and bought like loads of stationery.
i spent like thirteen bucks (+ trik's pen which costs 1.35bucks). so gna claim it from the parental unit or i'd have to join the duo's plan of not eating during break for like, three days.
was at risk of being complained abt cos we were freaking noisy.
"hahaha what to do? first time in popular what."

raffles is not the same tiny ball of fur anymore :)
she's getting reaaaally big. and round. fat.
am afraid she might just not fit into the slide or the excercising wheel anymore.
hahaha but definitely still damn adorable.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

zac efron was on the cover of lime! didnt rly like the photoshoot picture though, didnt buy the magazine

gna cont reading picture perfect.
then i'm gna study.
then i'm gna do my sit-ups/crunches/abs excercises for im determined to rid myself of this newly aquired paunch (goodness gracious :O) and restore my neat little ab line hahahha

ciao

and scream, because its the last you will hear

woke up with a slight fever today. yeyun was having a terrible flu too. so in the end we both plonked back to (our) bed(s) and yeah didnt go support juniors (for pesta sukan).
anyw, congratulations! :D
they got third (and um they beat nanhua twice)!

and yay late afternoon/evening was fantabulous! hahhahahahha
fe(r)n shen and i went to suntec city to walk and dine and dine and dine and dine.
no joke we ate quite a lot
she taught me how to choose/share budgeted meals and they were all really good food, though :)
lubdub!
there was like this um heroes kids' exhibition!

walked quite a bit before heading to don's pie for their awesomest shepherd's pie.

see how greedy my fe(r)n shen is? tsk hahahahah

and here we go again.

and then um we ate lots of other stuff/ like sweet potato!
and um oyster vermicilli without oyster hahahha.
and this grape soda thingy i am craving for right now.

then we took a rest at carrefour hahaha so typically singaporean eh.

typical singaporeans make the best outta free stuff.
dont you think we look so homely haha. perhaps a lil too much, in fact.

you dont know how embarrassing lor ;D

we have favourite jelly bean flavours worzxc :)

ar hhahahahahah laugh please.

last stop was the fountain of wealth. i didnt know we could dedicate songs there! anyw we program-dedicated one song but we were unable to stay to listen to it.
was runningg late you see ahya.
but it was really coooool hahahhaa.

will update abt west malaysia trip pretty soon! after i have compiled all the snapshots from my multiple sources hahah.
i took only thirty pics, but i think i'm in some other pics so yes when i am done collecting have a little, patience
anyw, it was better than i thought so yeaaaaap!

xoxo

emotions

updated:

four rv netballers found dead in the kalamari desert (actually, the netball court).
cause of death is unknown, corpses were found sprawled on the floor.
however, a possibility would be excessive inhalation of pesticide (uh, they were spraying it yo).
sarah: are we mosquitoes? are we? are we?!
trik: yes, yes we're pests.
sarah and trik and kristal and rae: *dies*

trik: eh, are you taking? are you? (talking to kristal abt shooting statistics)
kristal: yes...
sarah: yes, yes! *uses handphone to pretend to take pictures (like my phone has a camera)*
trik: *gives a dang lame face* *starts doing ultra unglam poses* *james bond hahahhahha*
kristal: HURRY UP I WANT TO GO HOME!
trik: okay, okay, i know. i want to go home too. we all miss home very much.

and then, we cracked ourselves up by lip-syncing/singing and trying to shoot album covers (using shadows). oh and by planning to throw the soccer ball over the fence if it rolled to us, because the boys said something rather crude to us (like chio) and they didnt want to pass our ball back initially, grrrrrr.
my, it was awfully fun under the sun!

oh and well, it was so dang embarrassing today cos i, along with four other classmates (btw chairman included), had to shift my table and chair out of the classroom to complete my assignment. so i/we had to bear with all the quizical looks those people from level two (who were going about their toilet routine so the untimely) shot me/us.
and i know the parental department is very disappointed in me cos thz called them up. and dang, fish and i have gotta face mk tmr. die, die, die. last words, anybody?

yay thanks twinneh again for kite!

darling i came so close to losing you.
i never ever ever ever want to experience it again.
never.
and, (no)sorry.

ciao

___________________________________________
the more i try to hide them, the more i am revealing them.

thanks twinneh :)