a place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain

can leave this place but refrain, cos we've been waiting for you.
i don't belong here, we gotta move on dear
escape from this afterlife.

trik and hueychyi just left my place.
this feels like post-exam :)

were discussing our incohate idea on the way here.
HQ/roles/secret file/mission/cases/confidential stuff etc.
suggested going to the supposedly haunted mansion near botanic gardens but hahhaha trik the timorous was damn against it.
i've been wanting to go on an adventure like this. k fine, maybe not.
but, hohoho is anyone game?

so we found a couple of mystery books/detective guidebooks of which existence i had totally forgotten about.
anyw, i was once a feeble nancy drew wannabe

then we watched ten minutes of CSI + a part of an autopsy documentry on youtube. gross, bloody organs.
then my bros made us watch this series of "how to be a ninja/nerd/emo/gangster" videos and they were outlandishly lame. if you are in need of brainless laughing, you may click here.

hohoho consequently we went to play basketball though it was drizzling.
my brothers are quite entertaining actually, if you eliminate their annoying side
full court was quite a killer but i feel as if i've burnt some fats off its been hell long (like six bloody weeks) since i did any intensive exercise so my performance in tmr's friendly will be disastrous and btw i am okayi with training on friday just that i'd have to miss out on my class' k-box outing and that's kinda sad, really.

7-11ed and they went off soon after.

it really feels like the exams are over and done with.

the moon was so big and bright and near tdy morning. i was hoping it'd crash into earth so we wouldn have to sit for the freaking maths papers.
sigh, wasnt in the mood for anything to with numbers tdy so im a goner
i barely did half of paper 2 (and i didnt know how to use shaun's calculator)
oh and thr were gahzillions of careless mistakes in the first paper.
if i pass i'll treat the whole of 2B to a cup of milo (or whtvr you'd rather that has the same value hahaha) each.

eh weiren you're quite a good tutor :)
but i still cant do trigo/algebra/coordinate geom for nuts

went to commonwealth's shengsiong and i realised that the booze thr is dirt cheap.
like bacardi's only 3.90 and kep's 12.50 !!!
hahhaha and san zha is a dollar for four packs luh !!!

foretaste.

everytime i try to fly i fall, without my wings i feel so small

i am currently listening to lonestar's amazed and i'm having it on repeat mode. i never get tired of this song, never

anyw, i bathed using diluted/mildly concentrated champagne/wine (what's the difference hur) just now! i still feel the stickiness on my skin and i dont really like it. i think i smell sweet and i shudder at the thought that ants might crawl all over me when i'm asleep :O
okayi i get it i shouldnt be paranoid.
um so yeap my mom forced me to cos she believes that it'll do good to my burnt skin. maybe make me fairer or someth hahahha
well, to prevent myself from having to do this again i shall apply sunscreen tmr (for pesta sukan round 2) :D

speaking of pesta sukan, i dont really feel excited about it. not yet, perhaps. my heart is gripped by fear, though.
what if i dont perform well?
what if its my off-day?
what if my (re)jammed thumb makes it harder for me to pass and receive the ball?
what if i die of exhaust on court?
i know i shouldnt be having so many doubts and all or else i'll be frantic and overly-tensed, but :S
am in no mood to continue this post
i just quarrelled with my parents.

raise your voice, like it intimidates me a single bit.
freak my family is screwed/
or maybe i am
i dont know whats wrong with my parents. since everything i do is wrong in their eyes,
since they say that all i bring is trouble, since they say that the older i get the worse i become,
then fine.
fuck you idiots. you asses who dont even know a single shit about me. i may not be in any position to say this but i'll just say it, you dont deserve to be parents.
you dont know how to bring up kids. look at how i turned out. look at how jer and jov turned out.
they say you're not supposed to wash your dirty family laundry in public but i'm doing it because i dont even feel part of it. my bros curse and swear behind your back, they act like hooligans and they pick on others in school all the time. and you dont even know.
they stole from you, too. you dont even know.
you can spend all your time on your work, and come back home feeling stressed and mad and then you lash out on us.
sure, go ahead. at the end of your life you realise you have the largest sum of retirement fund, but look around, and see there's no one to spend it with.
you dont know how broken this family is. its broken beyond repair.
ok i will speak to you properly. i will speak to you politely and not show any sense of irritation nor anger. i will speak to you like we're not connected by blood ties. like a stranger, and aqquaintance, someone i barely know.
respect is not given, its earned.
just because you are my parents, it doesn mean i have to be your daughter.
i hope you somehow read this. and realise everything.
i hope you know you've ruined my evening, my tmr, and supposedly our sunday.
i hope.

fools. we all are.

sneaked out from the kitchen to blog! yes, while the stuff is still baking. it smells allurrinnngggg, just hopes the end product turns out just as good though i am very doubtful of it. the first batch didnt look very promising. i'm gonna be such a sweetie tmr (laughs)!

i dont know (or maybe i do, actually) why i'm feeling this way. tsk, its so strong you know. i'm like, fighting it back and everything.
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
this is crazy.
i want to text you i want to text you i want to text you i want to text you
seriously insane.
i want to hear your voice i want to hear your voice i want to hear your voice
very very mad.
i wish you were here i wish you were here i wish you were here i wish you were here
whatever manzxc, back to baking. its so much fun.
pictures will be up when i get home. i'm a supermodel-cum-baker-cum-suntanner and yes i forsee a bright future ahead.

i'm sorry. please? forgive me?

loooooovvvveeeeee, xoxo
ciao.