and so your main point is, question mark

bottomline.

okayi so rather rough day for me emotionally.
but, but, the little snippets of funny, qwerty times here and there definitely cheered me up two dozens.

one, for the first time in a century trik and i (actually only hyung luh) were late for weights (by fifteen minutes) because we lost track of time (while eating fruits and drinking apple juice and laughing about some insubstantial hilarious thing).
i betcha we would have reached the gym at like, four pm (just nice for me though) if not for my sudden awareness that there was no netballer in sight (and btw it was scheduled to start at 2.30pm for them).

two, ms chew had us (the class) going hysterical with her penning down the blackhole on hueychyi's "however" in her personal response question. poor bolun.

three, cleo (momocleotineo as of now) was being such a sweet idiot it felt so dang good talking to her. good is an understatement.

but i still feel empty.

anyway way way way way way way, i wrote something that sounds pretty much suicidal.
by any case it doesnt mean that i am, although the theme of it and my life seems to flow in the same vein. i call it

____________________

"fall and go"
i'd never fumbled with my words
and you took this all for granted
i'd said a dozen "i love you"s
i know you knew i meant each true

in you i found my comfort zone
still think i'll never be alone
however much, its killing me
to live this lie and let things be

they say i've gotta let go, taking it slow
i say i'm just gonna let the whole truth show

so i'll stand on the highest mountain
(where you brought me to, where i was with you)
there tears spill like a flowing fountain
(like the memories still, like the memories still)
i'll close my eyes,
fall away,
into emptiness,
the break of day,
praying that you'd catch me
(like you used to do, before we were through)
bring me back to life again
(make it less mundane)
wish things had never changed, stayed the same

you broke me gently piece by piece
seemed to you it was such a breeze
deadly silence, you walked out
my missing you was heard aloud

empty, broken, lost, a goner
not by volition makes me happier
but nothing compares to how
this dread that rings inside me now

they say i've gotta let go, taking it slow
i say i'm just gonna let the whole truth show

so i'll stand on the highest mountain
(where you brought me to, where i was with you)
there tears spill like a flowing fountain
(like the memories still, like the memories still)
i'll close my eyes,
fall away,
into emptiness,
the break of day,
praying that you'd catch me
(like you used to do, before we were through)
bring me back to life again
(make it less mundane)
wish things had never changed, stayed the same

____________________

if tomorrow never comes,

has your world ever come crashing down on you, cos mine is

all this ambiguity is killing me.

how do you breathe when there's no more oxygen in the air?
how does the story continue without the main character of the plot?
what happens to all those afraid of the dark when the moon, along with all the stars, is removed from the night sky?
what happens when the most important person of your life involuntarily, or perhaps with your push, walks out on you?
you become breathless.
your life loses its drive.
the pathways of which you walk on becomes dim, dark, un-lit.
simply, you die; or you learn to cope with this loss - in this case the latter is much, much harder.

flyaway.