dont stop dont change, stay beautiful

its like this poison kiss which seems so sweet and so surreal on the touch. i only began to feel the substantial acidic thing eating me whole when the poison weaved through my conscience and into my bloodstream. now, what keeps me alive is this love, but this is also what will ultimately kill me.

it's not like a tevee or radio or anything. you cant turn it off just like that with a frigging remote. you cant shut away or turn down the volume, of your heart calling out, till its pure silence.
you cant make the imagery of the memories go away.
maybe you can switch channels, but one day you will flick back to that very same channel you were glued to, and realise that after so long you still are.
because we live by emotions and feelings, which often, are indescribeable and unexplained.

there and then.

its absolutely true that i'm losing heart, maybe time (along with tiredness) has put out the flame. had it been a month ago, nothing like this would have happened.
you are right. i would never, never ever, have placed fun and nights out over trainings and all that, if you were referring to me one frigging month ago.
but i did it.
walaoeh what the hell is wrong with me right.
i mean, i wanted to change, but i didnt intend for my attitude towards this to change.

ahyaaaaa.
i'll be heading down to UPS later on for my junior's junior's (okayi still junior anyw) training.
hopefully i'll find something, like a spark, watching them start.
maybe then i'd start to start all over again.

KITE RUNNER IS FANTASTIC (partly cos i know mc read it)!

anyw, i am really reallly reallyyyy guilty.
i mean guilty like shitzxc okayi.
hyung and i were supposed to meet up with two of our classmates for a project discussion.
supposed to lah.
but we both forgot.
and so tianli and angel were left standing (and waiting) at the lrt for like maybe ten minutes.
i just called my dad and he wont let me go!
oh die, oh die.
(five minutes later)
... uh thank goodness hyung cant go either.
the both of us will just die of excessive guilt ripping at our hearts together. hooray for my boyfriend.

anyw the previous pictures are results of my serif photoplus 6.0 trial attempts (its better than paint, but nothing fantastic).
anyw, natural is best, like the last picture (i saved best for last, ____)!
oh and i would like to introduce toot-toot the rubber ducky.
i recommend this WMP skin because unlike a lot a lot a lot of other horrible skins, it has shuffle mode! oh yes it does, smiles my lips out.
it took me nearly forever to find one like that (aesthetically appealing and loveable functions, to me of cos). cute yo.