give me something to believe in, tell me its all in my head

i can live without you but, without you i'll be miserable at best.
i cant live without you.

cos nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away.
nothing feels like home even when you're just a few feet away, in reach, yet, out of my league.

never thought not having you here now would hurt so bad.
never even thought i'd have you in the first place.

maybe the grass is greener at the other side, over in UK.
what i thought would have me all against is getting realistically more tempting. sometimes (like now) i wish i could just leave everything (but some) behind and go somewhere else. like, i just want to run away. no, flyaway. literally sprout wings and flap about in the air, or an airplane, anything.
will one year bring about a decent transformation?
what can i achieve in that short period of my life?
when i do leave, will anything even change?
when i return (if i do), will anything still be the same?
is there anything, or anyone who will hold me back?
is there anything, or anyone worth staying for?
i'll make my decision once i get all the answers i need, and i'll not look back again.

i never really knew how much you truly meant to me (not till now).
but, i just want to flyaway.
can i take you with me?

p.s. this is not touchy/emo, just genuine and heartfelt,
ciao.