even though the question is not intended for me, i'll volunteer my answer cos i dont want to keep it to myself. you mean more to me than what i will ever mean to you.

twilight. r and j. twilight. r and j. twilight. r and j. yes i love reading. finished twilight at like 5.40AM today. tsk, it only lasted for one and a quarter day, so no kick (right). i am so going to lay my eager hands on the next sequel - new moon.

twilight vs r and j, they are so alike, please. just that one has a lot less sexual tension than the other. but that is so not the reason why they are addictive alright. what draws me to the storyline is mainly the love (bah). idealistic, hasty, young love. or perhaps, infatuation. what one can be certain of, is that whatever they felt at that point of their life, was true. whether it was true love or wide-eyed infatuation, it was true. cliche it might be, they all believed in the power of love, that it conquered all and that it could fend off all those arrows shooting at their bounds. and, they held on to their belief so strongly to the/their (in r and j's case) end. aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww. i like books that question, that set me thinking, that contains more than what is on the surface. oh and romeo is one horny guy (learnt this in lang arts today). like, he was asking juliet to cast aside her virginity (or actually i think he wanted her to give her chastity to him). tsk, he was fourteen, anyw. i know, what an ass (hahhaa).

should i, or should i not go back to UPS tmr? like, no one is going. then it'll be dang boring cos like, so not enthusiastic and exciting if only six people are reunion-ing. sigh, sigh. but its either that, or i go straight home. then i'll just be putting my sunny afternoon to waste! sigh, sigh. at least i have a choice. trik has to stay home to fry her fishballs and clean up her table (hahha).

OMG. YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I JUST FOUND.
and, sigh it is still there, how lei.
ciao.

twilight. is so wonderfully addictive. the emotional torment, the anguish, temptations, everyth was portrayed so piercingly sharp it went right through my heart. the pain edward felt, him loving bella yet having to distant himself from her. his urge to protect and shield her from all disasters and everyth bad, him just wanting to hold her and pull her close and keep her in his embrace. him trying to hold back his thirst for her blood. edward is a vampire purified by the complexities of love. bella, saying that it didnt matter if he was even a human at all. sigh, their love is not extraordinary. no love can be described as 'extraordinary'; the word itself alr is, love is extraordinary in its own rights. their love is inhumane. not that edward was human in the first place, but its so strong, it cant be penetrated through. the yearns, the needs, the wants, the dreams vs reality, cold and hard. how they try to not put each other in a difficult position, both self-sacrificing, wanting the other to just be safe, yet at the same time longing for the touch, the closeness. love is so beautiful it scares me.

and, how can i forget romeo and juliet. read and studied deeper into the play, and i've arrived at an open-ended half conclusion. this whole play is about sex, sex, sex, and more sex, and a little rape here and there. like how shakespeare intended the capulet manservants to rape the montague maids and not kill them as i thought he originally wanted when he wrote "thrust upon the upright the maidenheads". shakespeare is a much more a sick genius than i thought he probably would have been. i bet ms chew intentionally avoided those dialogues and explained as less detailed as she could. so much hidden sexual tension, please.

and i read this on one of the blogskins yesterday. i dont know why it still has me thinking about it, yeah. how sweet:
If you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me
and come out at night
when I turn jet black
and you show off your light
I live to let you shine

played a while with nanhua cdiv people after senior's match. they're rather nice, and i see rvcdiv building ties with nhcdiv alr.

you all will always be the ones i(we) look up to, champion team forever in our hearts. its not the end, cos there is still a lonnnggg way to go for you guys. all the coming challenges, matches, games, seasons, etc - you've got each other.
though you(all) prolly wont see this, juniors will always be supportingggg and screaming and everyth. jiayou!
whoa, why do i feel like i'm saying too much? like i'm a first hand experiencer or someth, lol. go rivervalleynetballteam.
and although you dont want me to be around and all, i still hope that you are fine (better if you are more than that, but if you are at this point of time, it might show that you've got a personality disorder/you've gone hysterical/crazy/gaga). take care, and jiayou (esp,)
so many questions, so much i dont understand. but would it be any better if i understood?

ciao.

want to but i cant help it
i love the way it feels
its got me stuck between
my fantasy and what is real
i need it when i want it
i want it when i dont
tell myself i'll stop everyday
knowing that i wont

i got a problem and i (dont know what to do about it)
even if i did i dont know if i would quit
but i doubt it i'm
taken by the thought of it

and i know that much is true
baby, you have become my addiction
and i'm so strung out on you
and i cant barely move
but i like it
and its all because of you (all because of you)
and its all because of you (all because of you)
and its all because of you (all because of you)
and its all because
never giving up
you're the sweetest drug.
_______________________________________

bought twilight, its a promising love story. how will i balance my addiction between r and j and twilight, eh.
incomplete - why?
somehow i feel like you are trying to distant yourself.
why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near? just like me, they long to be, close to you.
ciao.

presenting to you the bully gang hiding in the toilet.

like finally, took a cable car! no luh, i wish yeah. i took a picture (two actually) of the cable cars.

to-morning's game against commonwealth, yayness and well done cdiv :D

and well, (heh, this is for me) its finally worth it. and i like this feeling pretty much. round two, yeah. rvnb all the wayyyy whoooshhhhhh!

lunched at pastamania then, dad picked me up. bathed over at ggrand's and headed to town with my parents. its beeeeen a longgg lonnggg time since we had family time tgt. and i'll say that shopping today was very very productive. i bought another edc shirt (its long!). then, got my black longs altered, yayness. walked over to borders from orchard point (netburners are strictly courtwear, dont try to shop in them cos sore feet is what you get yeah-) and bought my romeo and juliet shakespeare paperback play (ya-da-ya-da-ya-da i'm going to turn littttttt). quite some time since i went book-hunting in borders (or anywh else actually, havent been reading). set my eyes on a new trilogy book: the twilight series (twilight, new moon, eclipse -in order, fyi-). but the whole set costs like a hundred bucks and the one by itself book has an ugly cover. heard that its pretty addictive yeah. oh and yes! i feel so cheated please. i think my parents no longer have cash flow problems cos they were spending like crazy just now. i've been scrimping all weeek and i hardly pulled through the days cos i was gastric-ing and dying of no-energy and everyth. whoa, so much for that. not going to starve myself anymore (diet still counts though), i'm gonna stick out my hand and ask for money and thats that manzxc. hahahha.

and super early reunion dinner at grandma's place. and dang did my teppanyaki beef taste good. i can cook alright (on a hot plate given the correct ingredients and no oil nor cutting, just fun and flipping food over). am really full now. i think i'm gonna grow soooo fat and be overweight or someth cos i ate a lot - like really a lot. first person to start last person to end - thats how much. had so much kick cooking! and the adults were drinking so much wtpri and bacardi but they wouldnt share. how horrible. and yes i got scalded a thousand and one times cos everyone was just throwing the food into the steamboat thing and all that. i love big big family gatherings where its noisy and heartwarming and i get the warm tingy feeling, you know. awwwww :D

and! i cannnnttt believe it. jotay is so unromantic hahaha. not that i am awaiting/am despo for some sorta romance, but still. he has everyth planned out for v day! and he went like, "i meet you at harbourfront after your class and we can take a cable car and we can go for dinner at vivo after that. if you cant go home late, then can cab home and you will reach before 7.30pm. can?" ahhhh! like, so not mysterious and not exciting anymore. cos you know what exactly will happen! and 7.30pm means, no stars, no moon, no nothing! and the worst thing is.. .. ..i dont know how to say uh, no when he has everyth planned out to the smoothest detail alr. gahhhhhhh. he didnt even ask me in advance. like, he assumed that i would go with him or someth. yyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaammmmmmmm seeeeenggggggggggggggggggggggggggg! congratulations (and hahah celebrations) how? :(

integrity. your integrity is wrapped by this layer of someth. everytime you do someth bad, or anyth against your principals or morals, this layer become thinner. is it worth it to make someth as precious and invaluable as it so vulnerable and so easily taken away from you- with just ten dollars? integrity is priceless. i would have lost ten dollars, but you would have lost someth way more impt.

yes my two cents worth, how chim.

eat sleep eat sleep. i feel like a pig. sigh, tmr's sunday.. church.. and.. yeah. sighhhh.

to end off, i love great matches and insane family outings and i wish i had told ya some stuff. goodnight!

xoxo, ciao.

commonwealth's game was postponed (to tmr). gah, i was praying hard that it wouldnt rain, but sheesh. and ms puva's leaf spell didnt work either (not that i really believed whole-heartedly or anyth). t'was really like, looking forward to receiving my cert and commendation award tmr. i mean, LWS and DL, not just some small music figure or anyth! but i wont have a chance, dang. cry, people, cry.

anyw cos it rained and i was free in the afternoon, did some catching up with jam dearest(s). sigh, another gone for a while. but then again it will be so totally cool if he comes back with a slang - he has that really really quit-staring-i-know-i-dont-look-asian-the-least-bit look. went for really early dinner at cafe cartel. hoorayy, my dad's whatever card entitled me to a two bucks meal (but i actually had to borrow that two bucks, anyw). talked a lot, laughed a lot, attracted a lot of stares cos we were being utmost stupid, and yes that waiter (whose name is matthew tng - what a coincidence right he is not my angel fyi) was so like, trying to strike a conversation with us. no, not anyone and everyone can join in our little social circle talk okayi, please. then had this little walk along the back alley and it was so scary. it wasnt dark, but there was just someth scary abt it, i dont know. and then we started singing. i started singing the melody and the rest hummed/sang the harmony. then after that we started free-styling and switching. then suddenly everyone was singing the harmony. it was pure funny. all that so called falsetto training and bass building. cleo recorded the harmonized parts down. ahhhh, it felt good. i didnt realise how much i really missed us until today. until sereno asked if/when i was going back. what a longgg break, hur. then joonghan was saying that they needed a half alto for the next gig, and all that. i know i want it, but at the same time, i dont know if i will make the wrong choice and regret it. like if i committed, trainings would clash and everyth will all get stressed up again. at the end of the day, will it be worth it? i think it will. but am i strong enough to carry all these on my shoulders? the more i think the more i start to doubt myself. and the more uncertain i will be - of my own abilities, of the trust, of the love. but i dont want to rush into it and pull out suddenly again. it would be so irresponsible. just a little more time, i hope i can give you guys the answer you all want. even though i'm a 101% sure you jam people will never see this,
I LOVE JAMSTERS (still).

hahhhh, we are so cool please - the bully gang.
trik and fish are our dai gor dais (da ge das), liv and i are like the small fry(s). no luh, i mean we are impt too. what are two triad leaders without their followers manzxc? yayness i want our family potrait! cant wait for livia lim to come online and send it overrrrrr.
*clenches fist, thumbs on left chest twice, point out finger, and POWER*
act man, hiong.

i need to play well tmr. need.

i dont like coming home early on fridays my grandaunt will be sitting on watch in the living room waiting to pounce on me as soon as i get back. sigh, sigh, sigh.

and i am dang hungry. diet plans never last for more than two days. perseverance yeah.
ciao.