sitting by the glass door looking out
see you walking in and i pout
you didnt see me but its okay
and i think, you always dont anyway

jump to my feet close the door behind
"you want a drink?" and i decline
i brisked walk past everyone
dont like it, though it happens everytime

when i stand right there
you see through me
like i'm just thin air
walk into me
but you stepped into my heart,
unknowingly.
you could have walked right through
why leave that mark on me?










okay, this is so not blahhhh.
ahhhhhh.
ciao.

very soon all my posts will be non lyrical and fully emotional.
gah. i feel bored.
bored at home, bored in school, bored during lessons.
ms chew is a dang interesting tcher though.
her lessons are exciting. i like her.
anyw, everyth is boring when you are moodless.

at least i've taken the first step.
gah, though its like the first out of a hundred steps.
but then at times i really really really
just feel like walking over and talking to you.
tell you a bit about my day,
tell you that super idiotic joke that guy sitting behind told me today.
you have no idea how hard it is lor.
to try to act as if i dont know you at all.
or to even put up a front, that i dont care.
much as i pretend that it doesnt matter,
i think i'll soon be going around asking others how you're doing.
trying to get some second hand info.
it frigging hurts la.
not being able to ask you first hand.
having to see you just walk away blatantly.
avoiding your eyes and looking at everyth and everyone but you.
you dont know how it feels like.
just take care.

just rmbed that my pri school jnr came up to me today.

and fish, i hope you are feeling better now.
dont keep saying that i only care abt ___ and dont care you lor.
cos i was worried for you just now.
go fish, thats what a gf is for.

i think i'll post someth lyrical later on.
there's someth in my head alr.

actually.
it feels good to have let it all out.
cos i seriously poured my whole soul out in that ______.
it feels better, knowing that you'll never know.

slipaway, bah.

ciao.

three posts in one day.

this is the last thing i'll do for you openly bah.
i'll slipaway.

JAMSTERS.
first day of school, but it was horrid, absolutely.
even training felt bad.
everyth was terrible today.
because i felt alone.
thought things would turn for the better after i let go.
boy am i wrong.
i feel so tired. still.
i feel more tired than before, actually.
i'll miss the jamming, the infectious laughters and the hugs,
those late night suppers, cabbing back tgt,
getting scolded by our parents,
forgetting the words to all the songs and making our own,
doing stupid things like jerox-ing,
working extremely hard for a gig,
eating cup noodles every session,
hunting for exciting group costumes,
dreaming of making it big,
recording all those stuff,
planning secret birthday bashes,
borrowing money,
everything else.
even teasing joonghan for his NS shaven head.
its been a whole year.
one whole year.
i know what's gonna happen and i wont try to stop it.
cos its my own descision.
and if anyth happens, i take on the responsibility.
me.
i'll miss everything.
and everyone.
and thank you for caring so much.
you know, it was really really fun while it lasted.
the jam spirit never ends, eh.
i'm still a jamster inside - and i will always be.
jiayou, loves.
9 - 1 = 8.
shit stuff, lol.
"if its anything its shit stuff and we bao ga liao."
on one last note (no pun intended, i wont sing anymore),
i love jamsters.

ciao.

slip away - today

i've been watching you cry
till my own tears ran dry
every drop breaks my heart
i've been taken apart

i've been seeing you stand
alone in that far land
i cant reach out for you
there's nothing i can do

for i know that you're waiting
and its not me you're missing
just tired,
of trying.

its never enough;

you dont know how it feels
to just be a backup plan
knowing that you'll just go
to the other in the end
maybe i'll just slipaway
hoping that you'll make me stay
but then again i'll just go,
without letting you know.
its better, this way










the prodigy came up with this in the middle of a three minute shower.
the prodigy feels blah.
the prodigy feels bleh.
the prodigy is tired.
and there's so much on the prodigy's mind now.
the prodigy feels like ________,
craving for it like crazy.
the prodigy, thinks she's probably dying.
and it might be good news after all.
and yes if the prodigy died, she will not need to find/do her homework.
the prodigy.
actually wishes that her end is near.
the prodigy says,
ciao.

eleven forgot this, i want to do someth BIG this year.

non lyrical stuff again.

yes its the "set your new year resolution" day.
i've gotta make this quick, like real quick, cos i didnt complete last year's homework. as in, i still have my 95% holiday homework undone so there you go:

one change my if-she-hands-in-her-homework-on-time-it-will-be-pitch-dark-at-twelve-noon-and-everyone-will-think-its-normal image. i want to be a good student fullstop

two i want to sing better. and actually settle on some genre if i could.

three i want to stop screwing up on court and start playing the way i should. be a better netballer, bah. and get my third golfing pc/handicap. turn pro (no luh, jk).

four i want to stop ________, whether its _______ or _____ _____. (but you have to give me time what, bit by bit.

five make my relationship with the grandaunt better.

six grow taller, absolutely, till like 165cm. though fish said i'll prolly just look weird if i was tall. like, try fitting my head on (let's say) estee/lixuan's body. hmm. and slim down yeah.

seven for my faith in god to grow. be a (better) christian.

eight whether i'll still be with the jamsters or not, well. i want to do something for you people. i'll give you a song.

nine stop being forgetful (like forgetting to eat my supplements, or returning my library books, or taking that salmon oil thing thats supposed to increase your brain power and memory). and start remembering birthdays and doing someth abt them, especially my parents'.

ten find myself again.

homework, here i come.
ciao.