it all boils down to this, doesnt it?

this morning at 6.24AM, i meekly showed my result slip to daddy. he hastily signed it before going back to sleep and i thought he was letting me off. kinda dubious, and i should have known. let's just say i was optimistic.
my happiness/optimism was not to be; he fetched me home from KNC at night and i got a real long tongue-lashing. it was all one-sided talk, because really, what could i have said?
we made a compromise: if i do not get at least 3.0 for next term's GPA, i will be cut off from my netball entity.
to be honest i dont think i can do it. not at the rate i'm flunking all my tests (there were three today, btw). half the battle's already gone. and it really isn't that i don't want to learn or anything. i'd love to study stars and constellations, about animals and how to run a zoo, about the mechanism of languages and such. but i'm not cut out to be the best of friends with numbers (math to be exact), sciences like chem, and i take my hats off to you unsympathizing people who get your regular 'A's.
it's all about interest.
it's all about the heart.
it's all about effort,
the time you put into every subject.
but what if i'm really, sad to say, not cut out for studying?
i just want to be is a happy zookeeper. if i dont graduate, dont get a degree, and end up being job-less when i grow up, i guess i'll just be MCFC's secretary forever.

met T at harbourfront right after school.

rushed back at two-ish to take year one juniors for training. i think not a single part of it was productive and it isn't entirely the juniors' fault.
we've been doing the exact same things over and over again every single week.
it gets boring and everyone's losing interest, but how do we move on when basics are not grasped?
then us seniors get tired of repeating the same words over and over, and we dont take this training thing seriously anymore.
half the time we're lazing around, talking or playing by ourselves, leaving only the few dedicated and patient year3s to get the program running.
it's no wonder no one looks up to us, we dont instill fear, we dont command respect.
i know how it feels to be ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem ahem, but even so we know we're so much better than this. we can do it together.

anyw, after that played a little of tennis at the school's no-net court :)

then went to KNC for club's killer training.
the first hot-spot drill qiuying may and i did already seemingly detached my limbs from my body
but good workout as usual, seven up! :D
at the end had a not very surprising belated birthday surprise for coach! :)
huge, good, chunky choc banana cake from secret recipe, a birthday song, and a card (thanks ho!)
no pictures cos the lights at the court were switched off in the mid of the cake-cutting ceremony and we all had to shift to the brighter place outside office. anti-climax.
i like fri cos the attendance is higher and we always get to do more varied drills

where do i start?

thanks for being with me throughout :)