and hidden

please pray for me.

maybe.
maybe i'm afraid of the dark again,

maybe.
maybe i'm afraid of heights again,

maybe.
maybe i have still not grown accustomed to a moonless nightsky, a sunless day.

truth is i am hell-a scared.
the next two days will be the longest days i have ever had, and the worst ones too.
because although everyone seems to be cheering me on,
the one(s) whom i really want by my side will not be, because i am also afraid to tell.
and i am alone.

bloodstains,
i guess if you really cared, you will somehow know. and ask me about this, no matter what. and i will tell you. but you wont.