a screwed universe turned upside down

what is freaking wrong with this world; where kindness does not beget kindness, and compassionate love is not reciprocrated.

every once in a while, humans hit their low points and more than often need a source of comfort, whether it is the dimmest light from a distant friend, or a flamboyant raging flame within the one who has stood by for the past century.

as a by-stander at the edge, in the middle, sitting right on the fence, it is difficult to knock sense into a oppressive-negative person who weeps, wallowing in self pity. all the more harder to stay popped right on the fence because we all have our own opinions, and whether we like it or not it is a fact that we get swayed by other's points of views or storylines.

all i tried to do was to remain where i was, try to say something meaningful that could perhaps change the way you thought, as i'd like to.
it never occured to me that someone who was unhappy and tired and empty could turn back and slap me straight in the face with her harsh words and comments.
never, ever.
never, ever.
never, ever belittle the one who calls and cries for help, because at the end of the day the situation leaves you confused and hurt, and the table turns this time round.
always, always, be careful of what you say or what you do, because the smallest un-thought actions could stab.

and then there was this something that set me thinking really hard.
i was reading at the sofa when jerald came forth and asked me, "what do you think of grandaunt?"
the grandaunt who's the most bias person ever, the grandaunt who loves him more than she loves jovan or me, the grandaunt who has spoilt him such an abundance he has the courage to exploit and do stuff he never had the guts to, the grandaunt who quarrels with me everyday so long as we see each other, the grandaunt who bought him his new bedset, the grandaunt who shares a laptop with him, the grandaunt who never forgets to come back with cakes and snacks which are only meant for my two brothers, not me. that grandaunt.
i shrugged naturally, maybe because i didnt have an answer. what can you say about someone who treats you this way?
never did i expect him to say, "she's a crazy idiot woman."
the grandaunt who's the most bias person ever, the grandaunt who loves him more than she loves jovan or me, the grandaunt who has spoilt him such an abundance he has the courage to exploit and do stuff he never had the guts to, the grandaunt who quarrels with me everyday so long as we see each other, the grandaunt who bought him his new bedset, the grandaunt who shares a laptop with him, the grandaunt who never forgets to come back with cakes and snacks which are only meant for my two brothers, not me. that grandaunt. that grandaunt is a crazy idiot woman.
i wonder how she'll feel if one day she finds out how my brother, whom she so dearly loves, thinks about her.
it irks me and scares me even further knowing how two face my brother can be.

the world is so unfair, the world is so prejudiced, its screwed shit.
because everyone else behaves this way, does it entitle me to behaving just as selfishly?
does it?
a droplet of water dripped into the sea creates a ripple effect.
similarly, our behavioural actions affect everything and everyone around us.
because no one cares, does it mean that i dont care either?
must i go with the flow, must i be sucky, must i let my desires reign over my truest emotions?
because everyone else behaves this way, does it entitle me to behaving just as selfishly?
does it?
no it does not.

and, why?