what about now, what about today

just one and a half hours ago i told myself that "i'll carry you through it all even if my ankle hurts with every step i take."
now i dont know if it still applies. i dont know if it is worth it.

no faith, no trust, much less talk about 'us'. is it true that i am just a big fat liar in your eyes?
you dont believe me (enough), you dont think that i am capable of keeping my promises and staying true to my words.
... i am not angry, just heartbroken.
all that i try to do and all that i try to say is not reciproctrated - as a matter of fact i reckon its even appreciated.
i am trying to have your heart in one piece, but you're always smashing mine into shattering bits with your lack of concern, your silence, and most gravely your lack of belief in me.
why?