and i don't know how to be fine when i'm not

cos i don't know how to make a feeling stop.

i'm so over bai se feng che. now i'm listening to just so you know - jesse mccartney all over again :D

went to support averil and tseyin (and the rest of the runners from RV duh) at bukit gombak ytd. they were having some kinda race slash heats slash whatever the term is. some SAA allcomer's meet! anyw i think they are like really cool people, as in all the trackers (nationwide) in general.

after that averil tseyin and i went to lot1 to have dinner and stuff :)
they're both very childish people no joke hahaha
went to JP after CEO left then i went home at about eight plus going nine.
something really scary and traumatising happened on the way back. i shall not elaborate. you may ask me and i'll give you the details in exchange for a lollipop!
strawberry flavoured tyvm :D

my dad's still in taiwan, so tdy morning mom and i woke up really early and took public transport to church. we stopped by this small coffeeshop at yew tee to have (quite an awkward) breakfast and i must say, it has been ages since i had such quality time with her and her alone. i love my mom. really. i just don't know how to show it, and i used to be so immature and everything so we drifted quite far apart last year sadly we still havent managed to close up the gap.

went to chinese congregation for their sermon and i thought uncle anthony did a magnificent job in conveying the message. the lesson was about loving your neighbours slash brothers as thyself. yep, very commonly discussed and preached about, but it was good. it spoke and reached out to me.
well, all of us tend to flare up at the people closest to us, we don't usually show our bad angry side so much to others we're not as familiar with. we tend to overlook that love and care from the people dearer to us, esp our family members, should not be taken for granted.
it's like, sometimes we have two sides.
in church or school or at work, we're jolly smiley happy nice fun.
at home we're like, screaming at our siblings or spouse, showing disrespect to our parents, ordering our house helpers around and stuff like that.
this shouldnt be the way, cos how do we love god whom we've never seen nor touched when we cant even cherish the people around us whom we see and communicate with so very often?
i think this really applies to me because i've been neglecting my bros so much. i brush them aside when they ask me for help with their homework just because i'm on the phone with a friend, or when i'm watching hongkong dramas etc.
feel guilty now.

FAMILY.

oh then after service i spoke about netball and school issues with mag and hannah (cos she's a netballer too, ex-CT :D) and i'm glad i did.
thank you very much, if you guys ever ever ever see this! i hope i can join you guys for careteam soon :)

now i'm home.

and it feels like home :)