yours sincerely

EDITED @ 3.39PM
horrible horrible horrible i feel like spitting out a longgg string of freaking uncivilised vulgarities at my grandaunt who is back here at my house. she used to live with us but she moved out almost a month ago. believe me, my house has been more at peace and a more joyful place to live in since then. until now.
well i shall not let her dig out the worst side of me (yelling my funny toes off with my face red with fury fists shaking with rebuff with mouth hanging from strewing vulgarities i am no longer able to contain), as i believe that it is and has always been her motto for living (what a no life-er).

it isnt like i havent tried to put up with her bias actions and behaviour.
it isnt like i havent tried to offer to lend a helping hand (although it was only when she was leaving and she needed to shift her stuff out and i was more than glad to help).
it isnt like i havent tried to give her the very least due respect because i was advised to since she is, after all, this grandaunt who watched me grow from an innocent little child with huge adoring eyes to this.. this.. this black monster.
it isnt like i never apologised.

maybe i never really tried that hard and all that so fine it is my fault everything is my fault okayi i admit that everything bad around the house happened because of me i am a jinx and i jinxed her too it is my fault.

it so is my fault if jerald is at grandmom's place and her other reason for being here (besides traumatising me and making me sound like a juvenile delinquent) is to actually pass him his stuff and talk to him and to show him his new study table she so lovingly chose out for him (actually i dont think my brother will like it but whatever).
it is also my fault when there is leftover food (mind you the bowl of noodles was covered with a plate and the table top was wiped clean already). yeah it so is my fault if my brother is so full i can see his paunch alr but he still wants to keep it for later and i can see the logic behind his decision cos he gets insanely hungry after coming back from the playground.
it is also my fault that my hell of a phone lags (i wonder why, only when the texter's my grandaunt) and she didnt get my reply one quarter of a second after she sent me that text.
it is also my fault that the house hasnt been cleaned up thoroughly, like really thoroughly for two and a half weeks cos my parental department and co-units have been staying in my grand's and we (minus my maid who is still cleaning up over there) moved back only two days ago (okay this can be argued like um, i should have cleaned the house or something when i came back but urgh looking after jovan is more than a handful already and well... i havent really done any housework before - i mean besides washing cups or plates occasionally.)
it is yeah like totally my fault that i have friends. friends who call me on the home phone (when she is talking to me).
lastly it is my fault that i lead an active love life (i dont, actually). and she found out by reading through my most private letters which i keep on my desk and anyone wise enough (like my brothers who recently gained the sense to do so) will know never to touch the things there.

anyw, i had to throw out the rubbish into this common chute (hdb chute thingy lah) and i swear never to go near it again. and again. and again.
like okay i know it stinks. and i know it can be really hard to open the lid (by stepping on the pedal) sometimes.
what i didnt know was that freaking cockroaches hide inside the chute awaiting the opportunity to jump on you (chill it didnt jump on me though).
i mustered all the courage i had left after being so severly criticized/reprimanded by my grandaunt and stepped on that pedal.
afterwhich i threw the two plastic bags of rubbish into that dang thing and suddenly one grotesque coackroach flew outta the chute and landed one nasty metre away from me.
and i screamed.
so loud my brother ran towards me to sorta check if i was still alive, you know (from the house and i was running back to the house/towards him so we bumped into each other and we both fell to the floor).

i am going to have to mop the floor later on (because she says so) and yes please pray that nothing happens to me please.

i am dignified,
_____________________________________

drifting logs can be pulled back together
time does no justice to the heart
initiative, yours to take if willing parties abide
you bet i will reply
i havent forgotten you who finds joy in tickling

great vision you must have then
remember to apply it on court
me too and i always do
what else, hedge hog, cheeker, horse
dont let our friendship too

alright quit laughing at me i know its one hell of a laopok poem reply (which doesnt make sense unless you put the other poem next to it and compare them line by line)
sincerity is the key in any message you are trying to put across, though :D

xoxo