non lyrical post.

today was horrid.
cos training was horrid.
yeyun fell and scraped her knee.
just thinking of her wound makes me.. sick.
i really didnt mean to scare the sec1s with my reaction.
but i seriously cant stand the sight of blood.
i was very scared just now.
i dont know how to describe it alr.
c'div knows.

then went out with trik.
had our diet meals at queensway.
then we walked like two/three bus stops.
talked, crapped, laughed.
we each got a part of the sky,
named the lampost,
asked each other impossible questions,
played the telepathy game,
and everyth else.
and ty for that inspiring wo si wo zai story.
i was just acting dumb when i said that
i didnt want to be the reincarnation of na4 bo1 lun2.
i got what you mean actually, it did help.
anyw, missed a thousand buses.
and trik was super late for tuition - or not.
never thought i'd ever be out at with trik at that time.
when the sky was like that dark alr.
gah, maybe today's not that horrid after all.

wrote that letter to clau today.
i feel empty too.
really.

and maybe i'm trying, trying too hard.
so much that i'm tearing us apart.

you make me laugh a hell lot.
but its all just on the outer surface.
it feels great to be smiling and everyth around you,
and every smile was genuine.
random talk and insane nonsense.
but i cant help but feel empty.
just really desolate and airy.
empty.

absence makes the heart grow fonder.
vs
out of sight, out of mind.

i miss you all.

i miss you.

now that you are back,
i am trying really hard to suit your needs and go along with you.
but what do you take me for?
did you even think of how i felt when you said all those words?
i doubt you did, cos it shot me right in the heart.
all i want is to be a good grandniece,
but you are not giving me that chance.

you dont understand.

slipaway/watching from a distance?
will i even last?

read your blog.
if i really gave you that feeling,
i guess you could have just turned your back on me.
and i didnt want to feel that way either actually.

tonight, bah.

ciao.